News & Views Sunday, May 27, 2018

Stanton's great wall crushes Humpty Dumpty Wednesday, September 09, 2009

fallen wall 3News Flash: (Columbus Ohio) Humpty Dumpty (1810 - d. August 31st, 2009) crushed by fallen wall, Monday August 31st, 2009. It has been reported by the Stanton's Sheet Music staff that our beloved Humpty Dumpty was sitting up top of the retaining wall surrounding the Stanton's parking lot when the wall fell over and Humpty was crushed under the weight of the bricks. According to eye witnesses, Humpty was sitting on the wall, when the wall had a great fall, then all of Stanton's horses and all Stanton's men couldn't put Humpty together again. A classic tale of tragedy has befallen us and the loss of our friend is enormous. The cause of the accident is unclear and the insurance investigators have come to examine the crime scene; we await their report. Preliminary reports show that heavy rains and a simple tap of a car bumper may have caused the incident. Meanwhile, Stanton's has a mess to clean up and the city has blocked off the entire sidewalk as a crime scene. We're not saying that Humpty has enemies–meaning that a perpetrator snuck up on Humpty and ran into the wall with a car and drove off–we are just saying that accidents happen. The owner of Stanton's is quoted as saying “it just seems suspicious that the wall has been standing since 1967 and all of a sudden it falls over.” Unfortunately, the remains of Humpty are amongst the pile of bricks and will be picked up by an excavating crew sometime later this week.  Plans for a replacement “memorial wall” are in the works.

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