Behind the Scenes: April Fools….Or Is It? Tuesday, April 28, 2015
by Dan Clark, String Music Specialist
One of the interesting phenomena in the retail sheet music business is the way that requests for music can sometimes go downhill fast as more focused criteria is added. Here are some actual Stanton’s customer requests that “went south” rather quickly. (If you’re wondering, sometimes we come up with a solution, sometimes we don’t. Click the picture to find out what we recommended.)
I need a children’s Christmas musical. (Great!)
It’s for church so it needs to be sacred. (Fine!)
The students range from 3rd to 12th grade. (Okay…)
It needs to have rap and hip-hop elements. (Yikes!)
I need an instrumental duet. (Great!)
It’s for adults, so it really needs to be advanced. (Fine!)
It’s for church, so it really should be sacred. (Okay…)
It needs to be written for oboe and viola. (Yikes!)
I need Flight of the Bumblebee. (Great!)
I need a version for flute. (Fine!)
It’s for a student. (Okay…)
It needs to be real easy. (Yikes!)
I need a solo for a college audition. (Great!)
I need it for snare drum. (Fine!)
It needs to come with a CD. (Okay…)
So I’ll know how it goes. (Yikes!)
I need a viola solo. (Great!)
It’s for a good player, so it needs to be advanced. (Fine!)
We want to feature the violist with our group, (Okay…)
Which is a community concert band. (Yikes!)
I need a piece for choir. (Great!)
I’d like some Gregorian chant. (Fine!)
It’s for a student group (Okay…)
of elementary school children. (Yikes!)
I need a song from The Muppet Movie (Great!)
It’s called Rainbow Connection. (Fine!)
I want to play it, not sing it. (Okay…)
Does it come in banjo tablature? (Yikes!)
I need a piece of violin music. (Great!)
It’s written by Fritz Kreisler. (Fine!)
My teacher didn’t tell me the title. (Okay…)
She said it’s the “famous one.” (Yikes!)
I need some incidental music for a church play. (Great!)
Something with flexible instrumentation (Fine!)
It needs to fit the time period of the play (Okay…)
Which is the Old Testament story of Ruth (Yikes!)
Dan Clark has worked at Stanton’s since 1979, primarily with orchestra music and print promotions. A “working” musician, he’s a classical cellist, a rock & jazz bassist and a folk & country guitarist/singer. His free time is spent with family or reading, gardening, cycling and working puzzles. His series of musical puzzles (RP3 Rebus Puzzle Picture People) can be found on the Stanton’s Facebook page each Sunday. He also has a reputation as a pretty good joke teller. Seriously.
