News & Views Sunday, May 20, 2018

The dog was undoubtedly shaggy… Thursday, July 11, 2013

A blind man carrying a guitar walked into a restaurant with his seeing eye dog.  He struck up a conversation with the owner, and observing the man’s sense of humor, gave his sales pitch.

“I’m a singer/songwriter looking for a gig,” he said.

“What kind of music do you do?” asked the restaurant owner.

“I do comedy songs I’ve written that involve food.  That’s why I like to play in restaurants,” replied the musician.

“Well, let’s hear something,” urged the owner, so the musician pulled out his guitar.

He prefaced his performance by saying, “I wrote this one for my wife when she was pregnant with our first child.  It’s called The Pickle and Ice Cream Dilemma,” and proceeded to launch into a fresh, hilarious song even if it was on a rather overdone theme.

The owner got a good laugh and asked for another selection.

“Here’s one I call Freddie’s Fabulous Floating Fruitboat,” and he proceeded to sing a song with an unbelievable series of tongue twisters.

A patron called from the back, “Hey, these are great – sing another one!”

“Okay, here’s one called A Corned Beef Milkshake and a Side of Toads,” which was more of a kid’s song, but adults were chuckling too.

The restaurant owner said, “I love your material!  You’re hired!” and the crowd cheered.

As the musician was putting his guitar in its case, the fellow at the next table said, “Excuse me sir, but do you know your dog has eaten my pork chop?”

“Know it?” the musician exclaimed, “Heck, I wrote it!”

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